Places traveled through
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Saturday Night
We will be talking with the surgeon tomorrow, yes on Sunday, regarding the possibility of a third surgery. After going over the last bronchoscope the doctors feel that the patch that was done last week on the trachea has failed. There is a hole in the repair that is preventing Paul from breathing properly. They will have to go back in and repair the repair. I have come to the conclusion that Paul's body really does not like being invaded!
Paul does have a blood clot in his right forearm. I will be asking the surgeon about the added risks involved with doing surgery and having the blood clot. Once agin Paul and I have a list of questions written down. Once again we will be praying and hoping for a good recovery.
Paul remains on the ventilator because he can not maintain enough oxygen on his own. He is alert and able to communicate via paper and a marker. He is sleeping better with more oxygen getting into his body. He also is keeping his sense of humor which makes me feel that he is still looking to the positive.
Since we will be here at least another week I am going to post the address so tht if any one wants to send a card, he will receive it here. I will also be getting our mail from home either sent here to the hospital or I will make a trip to pick it up. Thank you to those who already sent a card, it has made him feel good to look at them hanging on the wall.
Paul Hine 7 West ICU
C/O Keck Hospital
1500 San Pablo Street
Los Angeles CA 90033-5313
Until the next update....
Thank you
Hugs,
Jo and Paul too
Saturday morning update
Paul got through the bronchoscope without a problem. They took samples from each lung and will have it cultured to make sure they are treating it with the correct antibiotic.
Paul will remain on the ventilator through the weekend. They will not put him back into a drug induced coma, there is no need to do that at this time.
Right now this is all I know. I am waiting for his doctor to give me more updates.
Jo
Paul will remain on the ventilator through the weekend. They will not put him back into a drug induced coma, there is no need to do that at this time.
Right now this is all I know. I am waiting for his doctor to give me more updates.
Jo
Friday, June 28, 2013
One step back......
At about 5:30 this evening, Paul's breathing had become more labored and he felt that he was not getting any air. We let the respiratory technician know that Paul wanted an oxygen mask. Paul continued to take deep breaths but felt like he wasn't getting any relief. Within 30 minutes we had a bunch of doctors rushing in and out. They told us they thought the best thing was to do a quick bronchoscope to look at the trachea repair and put him on the ventilator. Paul agreed. His breathing had become extremely labored and he struggled to even say words.
It is 10:30 PM and Paul is back on the ventilator.
The doctors have said as far s they can tell, at the moment, it is not a blood clot in the lungs. There is fluid in the lungs and his white count is elevated. He is resting and not fighting the ventilator. They will keep him relaxed. I asked that they do not paralyze him again. The doctors said they would only do that if he becomes too agitated with the ventilator.
The doctors will do another bronchoscope in the morning. They did the one tonight just to make sure that the repair in the trachea was intact. It is. They will check deeper to look further inside the bronchioles
The ICU doctor and I talked at great lengths this evening before he left. He was outside this afternoon when we made our trip to enjoy the fresh air. He said it was so good to see Paul sitting with his legs crossed and smiling. He realizes how much Paul has struggled over the last two weeks. He and Paul actually talked the other night about about how far Paul had come since the second surgery and how determined Paul was to recovery enough to go home. He assured me that he will do whatever needs to be done to help Paul get better and back home.
Sitting and watching him..... Holding his hand.... Praying....
Jo
It is 10:30 PM and Paul is back on the ventilator.
The doctors have said as far s they can tell, at the moment, it is not a blood clot in the lungs. There is fluid in the lungs and his white count is elevated. He is resting and not fighting the ventilator. They will keep him relaxed. I asked that they do not paralyze him again. The doctors said they would only do that if he becomes too agitated with the ventilator.
The doctors will do another bronchoscope in the morning. They did the one tonight just to make sure that the repair in the trachea was intact. It is. They will check deeper to look further inside the bronchioles
The ICU doctor and I talked at great lengths this evening before he left. He was outside this afternoon when we made our trip to enjoy the fresh air. He said it was so good to see Paul sitting with his legs crossed and smiling. He realizes how much Paul has struggled over the last two weeks. He and Paul actually talked the other night about about how far Paul had come since the second surgery and how determined Paul was to recovery enough to go home. He assured me that he will do whatever needs to be done to help Paul get better and back home.
Sitting and watching him..... Holding his hand.... Praying....
Jo
Friday - June 28, 2013
Day 17 in ICU.
When I walked into Paul's room this morning his hert rate once again was raised. It was bouncing between 130 to 140. I continue to hope and pray that it will revert itself back to normal. I did talk with the ICU doctor, he said it is not that uncommon for someone's heart to act this way after major surgery, and Paul had two major surgeries. I guess this is a test of patience for me.
It was a very busy day for Paul. This morning at 9:00 AM, Speech Therapy came to assess his swallowing and to offer their input to his choking when he swallows. They would like Paul only to have water or ice and nothing else. The surgeon felt tht Paul could have a clear liquid diet. I guess they will have to get together and talk about the diet issues.
Paul continues with his Respiratory treatments every four hours. This treatment includes breathing with a nebulizer and also a good pounding on the chest and back. It is to loosen up any secretions that are in the lungs.
At 10:30 AM Physical Therapy came in to set a time to take Paul outside. 2:00 PM was set and became the goal of the day.
At 2:00 PM Occupational Therapy showed up and so did Physical Therapy. After they talked of who should be doing what and when... It was decided that Paul would get himself, with limited help, out of bed and use a walker to walk to the hallway to where the wheelchair awaited his escape to the sunshine and fresh air. This took care of both the physical and occupational aspects of both therapies. Paul enjoyed his 20 minutes outside. He enjoyed feeling the warm breeze on his face and did some exercises while sitting in the wheelchair.
At 3:30 PM the Ostomy therapist came by to help with the problem of his Ostomy bag leaking when he wants to drink. She and I worked together a bit with her ideas. She has created a set up that we will try as soon as his present bag starts to leak and needs to be changed. The Charge Nurse helped me with the last one so we are hoping it will last at least the rest of the day.
About 5:30 PM, Paul started having a hard time catching his breath. His oxygen level dropped and no matter how hard he tried, he could not get it back up. The nurse called the Respiratory Thearipist to give Paul extra oxygen. They also drew a Blood Gas to check his oxygen levels. Chest X-ray ordered and EKG. The ICU doc was in here immediately and so was the surgical on-call doc. I had thought about going to get a good night sleep in bed, but looks like I may be spending the night in his room. I hate to leave when he is having any kind of problem
It seems as through we take a couple of steps forward and then one step back.
I will update either late tonight or tomorrow.
Hugs to all our families and friends. Thank you all for being here, in spirit, with me.
Jo
When I walked into Paul's room this morning his hert rate once again was raised. It was bouncing between 130 to 140. I continue to hope and pray that it will revert itself back to normal. I did talk with the ICU doctor, he said it is not that uncommon for someone's heart to act this way after major surgery, and Paul had two major surgeries. I guess this is a test of patience for me.
It was a very busy day for Paul. This morning at 9:00 AM, Speech Therapy came to assess his swallowing and to offer their input to his choking when he swallows. They would like Paul only to have water or ice and nothing else. The surgeon felt tht Paul could have a clear liquid diet. I guess they will have to get together and talk about the diet issues.
Paul continues with his Respiratory treatments every four hours. This treatment includes breathing with a nebulizer and also a good pounding on the chest and back. It is to loosen up any secretions that are in the lungs.
At 10:30 AM Physical Therapy came in to set a time to take Paul outside. 2:00 PM was set and became the goal of the day.
At 2:00 PM Occupational Therapy showed up and so did Physical Therapy. After they talked of who should be doing what and when... It was decided that Paul would get himself, with limited help, out of bed and use a walker to walk to the hallway to where the wheelchair awaited his escape to the sunshine and fresh air. This took care of both the physical and occupational aspects of both therapies. Paul enjoyed his 20 minutes outside. He enjoyed feeling the warm breeze on his face and did some exercises while sitting in the wheelchair.
At 3:30 PM the Ostomy therapist came by to help with the problem of his Ostomy bag leaking when he wants to drink. She and I worked together a bit with her ideas. She has created a set up that we will try as soon as his present bag starts to leak and needs to be changed. The Charge Nurse helped me with the last one so we are hoping it will last at least the rest of the day.
About 5:30 PM, Paul started having a hard time catching his breath. His oxygen level dropped and no matter how hard he tried, he could not get it back up. The nurse called the Respiratory Thearipist to give Paul extra oxygen. They also drew a Blood Gas to check his oxygen levels. Chest X-ray ordered and EKG. The ICU doc was in here immediately and so was the surgical on-call doc. I had thought about going to get a good night sleep in bed, but looks like I may be spending the night in his room. I hate to leave when he is having any kind of problem
It seems as through we take a couple of steps forward and then one step back.
I will update either late tonight or tomorrow.
Hugs to all our families and friends. Thank you all for being here, in spirit, with me.
Jo
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Thursday June 27th, update
Paul is slowly gaining strength with each passing day. He continues to push himself one small step at a time. The surgeon had said he wanted Paul to push himself hard but not to exhaustion. Today Paul turned himself in bed and stood up from the bed, both all on his own. This is a major accomplishment and I am so proud of him! He is taking sips of tea and learning how to drink without choking himself too much. At the moment, most sips end up in coughing fits that leave him tired. Paul is now on a clear liquid diet. Broth, jello and tea. Not that food has any value except for the oral satisfaction of tasting it.
With the removal of Paul's esophagus and now having a stoma out the side of his neck we are struggling with the ostomy bag. The neck is not a flat surface which is complex as ostomy bags are made for a surface that does not bend all the time. It also seems to fill faster then we like and the weight of liquids pulls on it which breaks the seal. We are managing. Needless to say there are a lot of dirty towel and washcloths going to the laundry from this room. I am planning on sewing something up to help with this problem. As they say... Necessity is the mother of invention!
Paul's heart rate started to go up again in the early afternoon. They are treating it with medicines. I asked the doctor about this recurring problem and he thinks it will turn itself around. The ICU doctors feel that the trauma that Paul's body has been through is what is creating the rapid heartbeat. They believe that having two major surgeries back to back put a big strain on Paul It is not only the physical strain but the emotional aspects have his body in a flux that will take some time to heal. The doctor said it was like going through open heart surgery twice and throwing in abdominal surgery for good measure. So the best thing to do is let the body try to heal on it's own. No more avoidable stress for him. Now that his blood sugar is within normal range they are checking it every six hours instead of every hour, this is helping him to rest as he is not being disturbed hourly. His breathing continues to be rapid and shallow but he is working very hard on taking deeper and deeper breaths.
On a good note, Paul got to go outside today. He was put in a wheelchair and had everything transferred to a mobile monitor. He carried his drainage bags on his lap. It was actually a bit comical as all the nurses cheered when he left his room. They were just as excited for him to get out in the fresh air and sunshine as he was. Upon arriving outside, he took in a deep breath and basked in the sunshine. His eyes brightened and his smile lit up his entire face. I can only imagine what he must have been feeling after spending 16 days in the same ICU room. He asked the nurses to take him near the trees as he wanted to feel like he was part of nature. He beamed and I beamed right along with him. Afterwards he drink half of a green tea smoothie. We made a royal mess of things because the ostomy bag seal did not hold with the weight of the smoothie. Oh well, towels and gowns are washable!
Paul is receiving Physical Therapy to help him become more mobile. I am hoping that by Monday he will be able to walk on his own. He requested that someone help him with his swallowing and choking, so Speech Therapy will work with him tomorrow. Occupational Therapy will also be working with him to regain control of his everyday functions...brushing his teeth, combing his hair and shaving. He is still receiving Respiratory Therapy every four hours to clear his lung as they are still suffering the effects of surgery. With all of this plus the surgical team, the ICU team and the constant coming and going of the nurses, it no wonder he is tired and can not feel rested.
I was hoping that all his tubes would be out today but was told by the surgeon that he wants to make sure Paul's chest has no residual fluids that can cause an infection. So those will have to wait. For now I am happy that he can talk and smile, laugh and kid around with the nurses and tell me he loves me. It is so good to see his smile. I had missed that more then I could have imagined.
Time for sleep. Tomorrow will be another busy day of learning new things and taking the baby steps that will lead home.... after all, All roads lead somewhere and this road is going to lead us back home.
Thank for being part of our journey,
Jo and Paul
With the removal of Paul's esophagus and now having a stoma out the side of his neck we are struggling with the ostomy bag. The neck is not a flat surface which is complex as ostomy bags are made for a surface that does not bend all the time. It also seems to fill faster then we like and the weight of liquids pulls on it which breaks the seal. We are managing. Needless to say there are a lot of dirty towel and washcloths going to the laundry from this room. I am planning on sewing something up to help with this problem. As they say... Necessity is the mother of invention!
Paul's heart rate started to go up again in the early afternoon. They are treating it with medicines. I asked the doctor about this recurring problem and he thinks it will turn itself around. The ICU doctors feel that the trauma that Paul's body has been through is what is creating the rapid heartbeat. They believe that having two major surgeries back to back put a big strain on Paul It is not only the physical strain but the emotional aspects have his body in a flux that will take some time to heal. The doctor said it was like going through open heart surgery twice and throwing in abdominal surgery for good measure. So the best thing to do is let the body try to heal on it's own. No more avoidable stress for him. Now that his blood sugar is within normal range they are checking it every six hours instead of every hour, this is helping him to rest as he is not being disturbed hourly. His breathing continues to be rapid and shallow but he is working very hard on taking deeper and deeper breaths.
On a good note, Paul got to go outside today. He was put in a wheelchair and had everything transferred to a mobile monitor. He carried his drainage bags on his lap. It was actually a bit comical as all the nurses cheered when he left his room. They were just as excited for him to get out in the fresh air and sunshine as he was. Upon arriving outside, he took in a deep breath and basked in the sunshine. His eyes brightened and his smile lit up his entire face. I can only imagine what he must have been feeling after spending 16 days in the same ICU room. He asked the nurses to take him near the trees as he wanted to feel like he was part of nature. He beamed and I beamed right along with him. Afterwards he drink half of a green tea smoothie. We made a royal mess of things because the ostomy bag seal did not hold with the weight of the smoothie. Oh well, towels and gowns are washable!
Paul is receiving Physical Therapy to help him become more mobile. I am hoping that by Monday he will be able to walk on his own. He requested that someone help him with his swallowing and choking, so Speech Therapy will work with him tomorrow. Occupational Therapy will also be working with him to regain control of his everyday functions...brushing his teeth, combing his hair and shaving. He is still receiving Respiratory Therapy every four hours to clear his lung as they are still suffering the effects of surgery. With all of this plus the surgical team, the ICU team and the constant coming and going of the nurses, it no wonder he is tired and can not feel rested.
I was hoping that all his tubes would be out today but was told by the surgeon that he wants to make sure Paul's chest has no residual fluids that can cause an infection. So those will have to wait. For now I am happy that he can talk and smile, laugh and kid around with the nurses and tell me he loves me. It is so good to see his smile. I had missed that more then I could have imagined.
Time for sleep. Tomorrow will be another busy day of learning new things and taking the baby steps that will lead home.... after all, All roads lead somewhere and this road is going to lead us back home.
Thank for being part of our journey,
Jo and Paul
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Update June 26 2013
Today is Wednesday....
Yesterday the surgeon did the Bronchoscope. I asked if I could stay in the room. He said " You aren't going to faint are you?" Silly doctor! Not being a physician, from my viewpoint it looked good. I could see where the repair was made on the trachea, including the stitches that were holding the muscle in place of the repair. The surgeon said everything looked good.
Paul is doing better on many levels... his breathing is better, still a small struggle to maintain good oxygen levels when he moves a lot. The staph infection seems to have cleared according to the last blood cultures takes. The CT scan showed a small bit of air in the chest cavity but not enough to concern the doctors. he was put back on the heart medicines and a beta blocker to help get the heart rhythms under control. Last night Paul was given a try of food, a clear liquid diet. Food will not have any nutritional value, it is simply for the satisfaction of tasting something. He had a small taste of jello, tea, chicken broth and tea. The feast was set before him and he relished each taste with great enthusiasm. The Echocardiogram done the other day was to check for blood clots. None were found so it was just one more reason for celebration in our ICU room.
Last night was rough as he could not sleep due to the rapid heart rate making him short of breath. He is continuing to receive respiratory treatments every four hours. That along with blood work and finger sticks to check his blood sugar was enough to keep him awake most of the night.
Today his heart rate finally went back to a normal sinus rhythm. They have tried a different beta blocker and I climbed into bed with him and took a 30 minute nap holding my hand over his chest, talking to his heart and telling it how important it was to slow down so the body can rest. The doctor on the ICU staff said she believes it was the cuddle that did it not the medicine. I'll take the improvement no matter what or who is responsible. The doctors also removed one more chest tube. A whole bunch down and 3 tubes to go! We are looking forward to getting him up and walking, being mobile will help him gain strength and improve on the outlook of recovery.
In all reality he will probably be in ICU for a couple of more days. His condition is stable as long as the heart rate is within normal sinus rhythm. Everything else is great!
Hoping today will be a bit more quite so he can get some much needed sleep. I have threatened the nurses that I will stand guard at the door and not let anyone in if he is sleeping. I know that can not happen, but it's a nice thought.
Thank you all for the warm loving comments, emails, cards received, well wishes, positive energy and prayers. We are still climbing the mountain and can't wait to see the view from the top!
Hugs from us both,
Jo and Paul
Yesterday the surgeon did the Bronchoscope. I asked if I could stay in the room. He said " You aren't going to faint are you?" Silly doctor! Not being a physician, from my viewpoint it looked good. I could see where the repair was made on the trachea, including the stitches that were holding the muscle in place of the repair. The surgeon said everything looked good.
Paul is doing better on many levels... his breathing is better, still a small struggle to maintain good oxygen levels when he moves a lot. The staph infection seems to have cleared according to the last blood cultures takes. The CT scan showed a small bit of air in the chest cavity but not enough to concern the doctors. he was put back on the heart medicines and a beta blocker to help get the heart rhythms under control. Last night Paul was given a try of food, a clear liquid diet. Food will not have any nutritional value, it is simply for the satisfaction of tasting something. He had a small taste of jello, tea, chicken broth and tea. The feast was set before him and he relished each taste with great enthusiasm. The Echocardiogram done the other day was to check for blood clots. None were found so it was just one more reason for celebration in our ICU room.
Last night was rough as he could not sleep due to the rapid heart rate making him short of breath. He is continuing to receive respiratory treatments every four hours. That along with blood work and finger sticks to check his blood sugar was enough to keep him awake most of the night.
Today his heart rate finally went back to a normal sinus rhythm. They have tried a different beta blocker and I climbed into bed with him and took a 30 minute nap holding my hand over his chest, talking to his heart and telling it how important it was to slow down so the body can rest. The doctor on the ICU staff said she believes it was the cuddle that did it not the medicine. I'll take the improvement no matter what or who is responsible. The doctors also removed one more chest tube. A whole bunch down and 3 tubes to go! We are looking forward to getting him up and walking, being mobile will help him gain strength and improve on the outlook of recovery.
In all reality he will probably be in ICU for a couple of more days. His condition is stable as long as the heart rate is within normal sinus rhythm. Everything else is great!
Hoping today will be a bit more quite so he can get some much needed sleep. I have threatened the nurses that I will stand guard at the door and not let anyone in if he is sleeping. I know that can not happen, but it's a nice thought.
Thank you all for the warm loving comments, emails, cards received, well wishes, positive energy and prayers. We are still climbing the mountain and can't wait to see the view from the top!
Jo and Paul
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Tuesday
Yesterday we met with the surgeon who is our current primary doctor in all of this and got some answers to our full page of questions. Even though I wrote down the answers I think as time goes on we may need more clarification. When stressed the brain can only absorb so much information before it becomes overloaded.
Paul will get a Bronchoscope today and if it looks good he will be allowed a clear liquid diet. Yippee!! We know that everything that goes in the mouth will come directly out the hole in his neck but after sneaking him a very small piece of flavored ice yesterday, it will be okay. He took that small piece of ice, closed his eyes and a look of total joy washed over his face. Which makes me wonder....... Do we eat because we are hungry or for oral satisfaction? I know it's both, but to what degree? Over the course of his treatments he had lost the appetite for food and did not get hungry. Even the flavor of food was not satisfying. I know that could have been the result of the chemo drugs. Now he wants to experience flavor, so even though he will not gain any nutrition from eating, the satisfaction of flavor will be there. So back to my thoughts and question.... If we eat because we are hungry, then as soon as our stomachs are full we would stop and the would be no need for diets, right? On the other hand, if we eat for oral satisfaction, that would explain the problem we have with weight control. I know for myself I can eat a whole bowl of popcorn and continue eating long after I'm full because I enjoy the flavor and texture of it. It doesn't help that I eat popcorn while watching T.V. So it's actually a mindless act of eating. *smile
Paul oxygen levels are very good. His blood sugar continues to fluctuate and he is being given insulin as needed. His heart rate continues to be too fast and irregular. One doctor came in yesterday while his heart rate was in the 140's and asked "are you feeling palpitations? Do you feel like your heart is racing?" Paul said no to both, said he felt fine. The surgeon firmly believes that the arrhythmia's of the heart are caused by the surgery and not an underlying heart problem. The surgeon said they had to move and handle the heart in both surgeries so it is aggravated and needs time to calm down. Paul is still on antibiotics and one of the doctors believes that the staph infection he had could have also aggravated his heart. This morning the blood cultures came back clean. I remind that doctors "Practice" medicine and there is still so much that is not know about the human body. His body has been under so much stress that I would like a couple of days of no poking, no medication changes and no more testing just to give him and his body time to heal on it's own. But being in a hospital, I know that will not happen.
We still have a long road to recovery, in my heart I know he is pushing himself to breath deep, wiggle his toes, cough and stay positive.
All roads do lead somewhere and soon this road will lead us back home.
Hugs,
Jo
Paul will get a Bronchoscope today and if it looks good he will be allowed a clear liquid diet. Yippee!! We know that everything that goes in the mouth will come directly out the hole in his neck but after sneaking him a very small piece of flavored ice yesterday, it will be okay. He took that small piece of ice, closed his eyes and a look of total joy washed over his face. Which makes me wonder....... Do we eat because we are hungry or for oral satisfaction? I know it's both, but to what degree? Over the course of his treatments he had lost the appetite for food and did not get hungry. Even the flavor of food was not satisfying. I know that could have been the result of the chemo drugs. Now he wants to experience flavor, so even though he will not gain any nutrition from eating, the satisfaction of flavor will be there. So back to my thoughts and question.... If we eat because we are hungry, then as soon as our stomachs are full we would stop and the would be no need for diets, right? On the other hand, if we eat for oral satisfaction, that would explain the problem we have with weight control. I know for myself I can eat a whole bowl of popcorn and continue eating long after I'm full because I enjoy the flavor and texture of it. It doesn't help that I eat popcorn while watching T.V. So it's actually a mindless act of eating. *smile
Paul oxygen levels are very good. His blood sugar continues to fluctuate and he is being given insulin as needed. His heart rate continues to be too fast and irregular. One doctor came in yesterday while his heart rate was in the 140's and asked "are you feeling palpitations? Do you feel like your heart is racing?" Paul said no to both, said he felt fine. The surgeon firmly believes that the arrhythmia's of the heart are caused by the surgery and not an underlying heart problem. The surgeon said they had to move and handle the heart in both surgeries so it is aggravated and needs time to calm down. Paul is still on antibiotics and one of the doctors believes that the staph infection he had could have also aggravated his heart. This morning the blood cultures came back clean. I remind that doctors "Practice" medicine and there is still so much that is not know about the human body. His body has been under so much stress that I would like a couple of days of no poking, no medication changes and no more testing just to give him and his body time to heal on it's own. But being in a hospital, I know that will not happen.
We still have a long road to recovery, in my heart I know he is pushing himself to breath deep, wiggle his toes, cough and stay positive.
All roads do lead somewhere and soon this road will lead us back home.
Hugs,
Jo
Monday, June 24, 2013
Monday, Monday....
My intention was to do an update last night, but trying to clear my mind and get a bit of sleep took over. How can someone feel so tired all the time? And if I feel this tired I can't help but wonder how tired Paul must be feeling.
Yesterday turned out to be a busy day. They got Paul out of bed early and he had his breathing treatment. Actually breathing treatments are every four hours. They are still trying to break up all the yucky stuff in his lungs so that his breaths will not be so labored. After the morning treatment he was informed that Physical Therapy would be coming. So he had P.T come and do an assessment on what he needs. After that Occupational Therapy came in to do an assessment of what he will be needed. Paul continues to have his blood sugars check every hour. It was a very busy day and he was exhausted. In the late afternoon we both needed a nap so the nurse was kind enough to pull the curtains and not let anyone bother us for an hour. The nurse even offered me a hospital bed to lay in, I told her I really appreciated that but I am highly allergic to hospital beds and they give me a rash.
Last night as Paul dozed off, his heart rate once again went up. He continues to struggle with his heart rate maintaining a normal sinus rhythm. This morning I was told that he went into AFIB again, it was brief, but all the same it was there. They will be doing an Echocardiogram sometime today. This brought up a lot of questions from Paul. One was..... What's next? How much more do we put his body through? At what point is his quality of life compromised to where the quantity is not important? I've asked for a Social Worker to come talk to us both as I think we a starting to feel the effect of him being in ICU for so long and the exhaustion for us both is taking a toll.
We never even discussed the possibility of this outcome. Him ending up without an esophagus was never one of listed complications. We are struggling with questions and need answers. I have a list of questions and will be asking the doctor to set aside some time to talk with us both.
That is the update for this morning.
Hugs to all our dear families and friends.
Jo
Yesterday turned out to be a busy day. They got Paul out of bed early and he had his breathing treatment. Actually breathing treatments are every four hours. They are still trying to break up all the yucky stuff in his lungs so that his breaths will not be so labored. After the morning treatment he was informed that Physical Therapy would be coming. So he had P.T come and do an assessment on what he needs. After that Occupational Therapy came in to do an assessment of what he will be needed. Paul continues to have his blood sugars check every hour. It was a very busy day and he was exhausted. In the late afternoon we both needed a nap so the nurse was kind enough to pull the curtains and not let anyone bother us for an hour. The nurse even offered me a hospital bed to lay in, I told her I really appreciated that but I am highly allergic to hospital beds and they give me a rash.
Last night as Paul dozed off, his heart rate once again went up. He continues to struggle with his heart rate maintaining a normal sinus rhythm. This morning I was told that he went into AFIB again, it was brief, but all the same it was there. They will be doing an Echocardiogram sometime today. This brought up a lot of questions from Paul. One was..... What's next? How much more do we put his body through? At what point is his quality of life compromised to where the quantity is not important? I've asked for a Social Worker to come talk to us both as I think we a starting to feel the effect of him being in ICU for so long and the exhaustion for us both is taking a toll.
We never even discussed the possibility of this outcome. Him ending up without an esophagus was never one of listed complications. We are struggling with questions and need answers. I have a list of questions and will be asking the doctor to set aside some time to talk with us both.
That is the update for this morning.
Hugs to all our dear families and friends.
Jo
Sunday, June 23, 2013
This is Sunday, June 23, 2013
Paul asked me what day it was this morning when I walked into his ICU room. I hate to admit it, but I didn't know. I had to check the calendar that is hanging above the board in his room. We are both losing the concept of days as they blend together.
Yesterday,Saturday, was another roller coaster day. When I arrived the doctors had mentioned the possibility of Paul going back on the ventilator. My heart sank. When I asked him how he was feeling, he gasped and said "I feel like I'm dying". Needless to say I felt helpless and saddened. We have come so far and for him to feel so bad hurt my heart. I sat on the bed and told him he needed to take deep breaths and that I loved him too much to let go. I told him we will get through this. His exhaustion from the labored breathing was making him feel extremely tired. As we sat calmly talking his oxygen level improved and his heart rate slowed. The doctor said that he was going to go check all the numbers from the night before and then make a decision regarding putting him back on the ventilator. When the doctor came back, he saw the improvement and said they would hold off for a while. I sat with Paul and we concentrated on slow deep breathes. We focused on the love of our family and friends. We talked about being bathed in the warmth of healing energy and light. We gave thanks for all the prayers being offered up for healing and peace. We felt immersed in peace and love. I told him we were in a bubble of absolute, unconditional love and nothing negative or harmful could reach us. I told him that our love was stronger than anything in this world. His numbers starting improving dramatically and the ventilator was not needed.
Over yesterday and this morning, Paul is trying to remember and comprehend everything that has happened over the last two weeks. He was in a fog about the second surgery. He did not know that he was paralyzed or that he was on a ventilator. He talked of some really off the wall things and we owed about it. The drugs they gave him will take a couple of days to get completely out of his system. He could not stand on his own yesterday and i was told that is a side effect of the paralysis and he will need some physical therapy to help with the muscles getting stronger. The swelling in his hands and arms has gone down to where his fingers look normal again. We have gone over everything several times with him asking questions. I am focusing only on the positive. He now knows it was very serious, he knows he was in critical condition for a few days and he knows the esophagectomy surgery failed. He also knows that we, him and I, will get through this. It is just another small detour on our journey together.
This morning he is actually looking at emails on the laptop, concerned that he needs to take care of some minor work things and smiled at me with eyes that made all the worries briefly go away. He is healing. Out of the eighteen I.V.'s he had only four are left. He is receiving food once again via the J Tube. My main concern is his heart as they have not been able to get him off the medicine that is keeping him out of AFIB. He continues to receive insulin, but for some reason, that does not worry me in the least.
My emotions are being shelved and put on hold so that I can remain strong for him. I told him when we get home we are hanging the "do not disturb" sign, turning off the phones and spending a couple of days resting and cuddling.
My hope today is for Paul to become strong enough to leave ICU so we can look toward the idea of going home.
I will try to do an update tonight.
Hugs to all,
Jo
Yesterday,Saturday, was another roller coaster day. When I arrived the doctors had mentioned the possibility of Paul going back on the ventilator. My heart sank. When I asked him how he was feeling, he gasped and said "I feel like I'm dying". Needless to say I felt helpless and saddened. We have come so far and for him to feel so bad hurt my heart. I sat on the bed and told him he needed to take deep breaths and that I loved him too much to let go. I told him we will get through this. His exhaustion from the labored breathing was making him feel extremely tired. As we sat calmly talking his oxygen level improved and his heart rate slowed. The doctor said that he was going to go check all the numbers from the night before and then make a decision regarding putting him back on the ventilator. When the doctor came back, he saw the improvement and said they would hold off for a while. I sat with Paul and we concentrated on slow deep breathes. We focused on the love of our family and friends. We talked about being bathed in the warmth of healing energy and light. We gave thanks for all the prayers being offered up for healing and peace. We felt immersed in peace and love. I told him we were in a bubble of absolute, unconditional love and nothing negative or harmful could reach us. I told him that our love was stronger than anything in this world. His numbers starting improving dramatically and the ventilator was not needed.
Over yesterday and this morning, Paul is trying to remember and comprehend everything that has happened over the last two weeks. He was in a fog about the second surgery. He did not know that he was paralyzed or that he was on a ventilator. He talked of some really off the wall things and we owed about it. The drugs they gave him will take a couple of days to get completely out of his system. He could not stand on his own yesterday and i was told that is a side effect of the paralysis and he will need some physical therapy to help with the muscles getting stronger. The swelling in his hands and arms has gone down to where his fingers look normal again. We have gone over everything several times with him asking questions. I am focusing only on the positive. He now knows it was very serious, he knows he was in critical condition for a few days and he knows the esophagectomy surgery failed. He also knows that we, him and I, will get through this. It is just another small detour on our journey together.
This morning he is actually looking at emails on the laptop, concerned that he needs to take care of some minor work things and smiled at me with eyes that made all the worries briefly go away. He is healing. Out of the eighteen I.V.'s he had only four are left. He is receiving food once again via the J Tube. My main concern is his heart as they have not been able to get him off the medicine that is keeping him out of AFIB. He continues to receive insulin, but for some reason, that does not worry me in the least.
My emotions are being shelved and put on hold so that I can remain strong for him. I told him when we get home we are hanging the "do not disturb" sign, turning off the phones and spending a couple of days resting and cuddling.
My hope today is for Paul to become strong enough to leave ICU so we can look toward the idea of going home.
I will try to do an update tonight.
Hugs to all,
Jo
Friday, June 21, 2013
Update on Paul
I wish I could individually thank every single person who has sent well wishes, asked for updates, said a prayer, email a question or asked for an update, but then... That would take months!
Paul is doing well. They have removed him for the ventilator. He is somewhat awake and talking. The doctors want him to rest tonight as now the healing needs to began all over again. Paul actually said "Caddie Shack", What he meant was "Groundhog Day" Because afterwords he said "Deja vu"
We are not completely out of the woods. The good news is they have moved almost half of the I.V. Medications, his heart is a steady rhythm with very few PVC or missed beats, but he is still on the heart regulating medications.
Tonight he needs to rest and breath deeply so as not to get pneumonia. He will be getting
respiratory treatments every four hours. If he becomes to tired from breathing or the breathing becomes labored they will put him back on the ventilator. They are checking his blood surgery every couple of hours and giving insulin as needed. His temperature has been within normal limits throughout the day.
I will be going to sleep in a bed tonight. Elizabeth has rented a place for the month so that I have a place to get away from the hospital to get some I disturbed rest and a hot shower. Tonight I really need both. I will try to get back before the 6:30 am Resident Rounds and the nurses shift change.
To all our friends and families, yes we have many families..... Thank you
Jo and Paul
Paul is doing well. They have removed him for the ventilator. He is somewhat awake and talking. The doctors want him to rest tonight as now the healing needs to began all over again. Paul actually said "Caddie Shack", What he meant was "Groundhog Day" Because afterwords he said "Deja vu"
We are not completely out of the woods. The good news is they have moved almost half of the I.V. Medications, his heart is a steady rhythm with very few PVC or missed beats, but he is still on the heart regulating medications.
Tonight he needs to rest and breath deeply so as not to get pneumonia. He will be getting
respiratory treatments every four hours. If he becomes to tired from breathing or the breathing becomes labored they will put him back on the ventilator. They are checking his blood surgery every couple of hours and giving insulin as needed. His temperature has been within normal limits throughout the day.
I will be going to sleep in a bed tonight. Elizabeth has rented a place for the month so that I have a place to get away from the hospital to get some I disturbed rest and a hot shower. Tonight I really need both. I will try to get back before the 6:30 am Resident Rounds and the nurses shift change.
To all our friends and families, yes we have many families..... Thank you
Jo and Paul
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Thursday Night
After a very emotional and unknowing day Paul is improving. Heart rate is in normal sinus rhythm and they have weaned him off the medication that kept him paralyzed. He shows signs of understanding and small movement. he squeezed my hand! He continues to be sedated and is on the ventilator. Removing him from the ventilator is going to be a slow process as they have to make sure his oxygen level is good and he does not cough.
It was a very hard day of up and downs. His heart rhythms, blood pressure and temperature were all of the range of highs and lows. But he is currently stable and resting. Tomorrow they will try to get him off some of the many drugs that are assisting his stability.
As the doctor said "we are not out of the woods yet, but we a on the right road"
Thank you all for your prayers. Now I will get some much needed sleep. Hope my mind shuts off and allow me to sleep.
Hugs,
Jo and Paul too.....
It was a very hard day of up and downs. His heart rhythms, blood pressure and temperature were all of the range of highs and lows. But he is currently stable and resting. Tomorrow they will try to get him off some of the many drugs that are assisting his stability.
As the doctor said "we are not out of the woods yet, but we a on the right road"
Thank you all for your prayers. Now I will get some much needed sleep. Hope my mind shuts off and allow me to sleep.
Hugs,
Jo and Paul too.....
Paul
Paul is still In critical condition. He is medically paralyzed and heavily sedated. The ventilator continues to do his breathing.
His heart rate has been in ventricular tachacardia all day. He had a temperature of 103 or higher most of Wednesday. The temperature came down with the help of a cooling mattress Wednesday night but his heart continues to race.
It is a struggle to get the organs to work together. When they slow down the heart rate,the blood pressure drops. When they add fluids to get the kidneys flushed, the lungs become saturated.
The doctor has said as long as all the vital organs are working,we are okay.
So for now, we are okay.
Jo
His heart rate has been in ventricular tachacardia all day. He had a temperature of 103 or higher most of Wednesday. The temperature came down with the help of a cooling mattress Wednesday night but his heart continues to race.
It is a struggle to get the organs to work together. When they slow down the heart rate,the blood pressure drops. When they add fluids to get the kidneys flushed, the lungs become saturated.
The doctor has said as long as all the vital organs are working,we are okay.
So for now, we are okay.
Jo
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Morning update
Paul's night was fair.
This morning they did a brochoscope to check on the newly created "flap" it is doing okay.
His temperature is currently 102 degrees and blood pressure is down but his heart rate remains high.
Paul heavily sedated and is medically paralyzed to prevent him from trying to breath on his own. They want the ventilator to the work for him. They said they will probably try to remove him from the ventilator later today, they do not want to damage the new flap.
I continue to remind myself that the doctor said the next 48hours are critical and not worry. 48 hours.... 2880 minutes........ We will get through this even if it means taking one minute at a time.
I hold his hand and tell him he is doing well. I let him know that all of you are praying for him. I tell him he is surrounded by a beautiful and peace filled energy that is being sent by all our friends and families.
I want to crawl in to that bed with him and hold him so close to me, but I can't so holding his hand will has to be sufficient for now.
I will post an update later this evening.
Hugs and love,
Jo and Paul too
This morning they did a brochoscope to check on the newly created "flap" it is doing okay.
His temperature is currently 102 degrees and blood pressure is down but his heart rate remains high.
Paul heavily sedated and is medically paralyzed to prevent him from trying to breath on his own. They want the ventilator to the work for him. They said they will probably try to remove him from the ventilator later today, they do not want to damage the new flap.
I continue to remind myself that the doctor said the next 48hours are critical and not worry. 48 hours.... 2880 minutes........ We will get through this even if it means taking one minute at a time.
I hold his hand and tell him he is doing well. I let him know that all of you are praying for him. I tell him he is surrounded by a beautiful and peace filled energy that is being sent by all our friends and families.
I want to crawl in to that bed with him and hold him so close to me, but I can't so holding his hand will has to be sufficient for now.
I will post an update later this evening.
Hugs and love,
Jo and Paul too
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Stubborn Bastard
Before going into surgery, Paul put his hand on my cheek and said " Don't worry, I'm a stubborn bastard " and "I want that to be the name of the next blog"
So here it is.... The next blog.
Paul is out of surgery. The deteriorated newly built esophagus was removed, what could be salvaged was replaced back into the abdomen. The deterioration actually ate through to his Larynx, but there was not any long term damage. Thank goodness they did surgery today, if they had waited the stomach acid would have eaten it's way through to the windpipe.
Paul will be kept paralyzed and sedated for the next twenty four hours. He will be on a venterlator to assess his breathing. The surgeon said the next forty-eight hours are critical. Once again we wait and let go of things we do not and can not control.
I hesitate to post anything else because I prefer to give Paul time to get through this period and post later.
I want to thank everyone for all the wonderful support and good wishes, reading them has given me strength to endure the emotional roller coaster of this small detour on our journey in life.
Thank you all for being part of our journey, you all make our lives enriched and blessed.
Hugs,
Jo and one Stubborn Bastard
So here it is.... The next blog.
Paul is out of surgery. The deteriorated newly built esophagus was removed, what could be salvaged was replaced back into the abdomen. The deterioration actually ate through to his Larynx, but there was not any long term damage. Thank goodness they did surgery today, if they had waited the stomach acid would have eaten it's way through to the windpipe.
Paul will be kept paralyzed and sedated for the next twenty four hours. He will be on a venterlator to assess his breathing. The surgeon said the next forty-eight hours are critical. Once again we wait and let go of things we do not and can not control.
I hesitate to post anything else because I prefer to give Paul time to get through this period and post later.
I want to thank everyone for all the wonderful support and good wishes, reading them has given me strength to endure the emotional roller coaster of this small detour on our journey in life.
Thank you all for being part of our journey, you all make our lives enriched and blessed.
Hugs,
Jo and one Stubborn Bastard
Emergency Surgery this afternoon
The surgeon came in this morning to do an endoscopy to check on the attachment of the stomach creating the new esophagus. The news is not good...
Paul has a collapsed lung and 9centimeters of the new esophagus has deteriorated and will have to be removed before it can become infected. Paul will be going back into surgery this afternoon after 3:00 pm. They will put what is left of the healthy (new esophagus) stomach back into the abdomen. A repeat surgery to rebuild a new esophagus will take place after everything is healed.
I will update later..
Jo
Paul has a collapsed lung and 9centimeters of the new esophagus has deteriorated and will have to be removed before it can become infected. Paul will be going back into surgery this afternoon after 3:00 pm. They will put what is left of the healthy (new esophagus) stomach back into the abdomen. A repeat surgery to rebuild a new esophagus will take place after everything is healed.
I will update later..
Jo
Monday, June 17, 2013
June 17, 2013
Today's update.
I feel like I'm doing a daily school assignment, but if this helps to keep all our friends and family updated then it is what I need to do.
Good news:
Paul got up and walked today. Even with having a couple drainage tubes abd multiple I.V.'s, he walked about 50 feet. Upon coming back to his room he smiled and said to the nurses " Think I'll take this one!" His sense of humor continues even when he is not feeling 100%. He is doing better on his breathing and the coughing which is so vital to clearing his lungs grows stronger each day.
An echocardiogram was done to assess his heart and maybe come to a desicion as to why he continues to go into atrial fibrillation with they remove him from the amiodrone medication.
Not so good news:
They did not do the "swallow test" today as the surgeon wants to do an endoscopy and take a physical look at the inside of Paul's new esophagus. So the test will be delayed for now. I have not heard the results of the echocardiogram.
We are taking it all "One day at a time" and taking joy in the little things that mark progress.... The atrial I.V. Line being removed from his arm, the ability of being able to cough, being able to swab his mouth by himself... Small steps but in the scheme of things, very big achievements!
Thank you all for the support through prayers, instant messages, comments, cards, well wishes, positive energy and most of all love.
Let's see what tomorrow brings.
Hugs to all,
Jo
I feel like I'm doing a daily school assignment, but if this helps to keep all our friends and family updated then it is what I need to do.
Good news:
Paul got up and walked today. Even with having a couple drainage tubes abd multiple I.V.'s, he walked about 50 feet. Upon coming back to his room he smiled and said to the nurses " Think I'll take this one!" His sense of humor continues even when he is not feeling 100%. He is doing better on his breathing and the coughing which is so vital to clearing his lungs grows stronger each day.
An echocardiogram was done to assess his heart and maybe come to a desicion as to why he continues to go into atrial fibrillation with they remove him from the amiodrone medication.
Not so good news:
They did not do the "swallow test" today as the surgeon wants to do an endoscopy and take a physical look at the inside of Paul's new esophagus. So the test will be delayed for now. I have not heard the results of the echocardiogram.
We are taking it all "One day at a time" and taking joy in the little things that mark progress.... The atrial I.V. Line being removed from his arm, the ability of being able to cough, being able to swab his mouth by himself... Small steps but in the scheme of things, very big achievements!
Thank you all for the support through prayers, instant messages, comments, cards, well wishes, positive energy and most of all love.
Let's see what tomorrow brings.
Hugs to all,
Jo
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Happy Father's Day
Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Hope your day was a good one.
Paul's heart rate went wild again when they discontinued the medicine that is use to stop the atrial fibrillation. It took over seven hours to get it back under control. This was actually a shorter time then the last time they tried to stop it. So we do have progress. They put him back on the meds and will try to wean him off again as the medicine is not for long term usage. He has had a couple of really good coughing spells that have loosened the fluid in the lungs. This is great and will allow him to breath even better. We continue to work on lung capacity with respiratory therapy every four hours.
My daughter Elizabeth stops by often to lend her support and checks that I am getting rest and a break from the hospital. My cousin Mary flew in for the weekend to be with us. So for all those who are worried about me..... I am okay and have angels looking after me!
Paul is looking forward to a peace filled night with minimum interruptions so he can get some much needed sleep. We are praying that he continues to maintain a normal sinus rhythm and good oxygen numbers through the night and tomorrow.
Paul enjoyed all the Father Day wishes and thanks each one of you for all your prayers and good wishes.
Jo
Paul's heart rate went wild again when they discontinued the medicine that is use to stop the atrial fibrillation. It took over seven hours to get it back under control. This was actually a shorter time then the last time they tried to stop it. So we do have progress. They put him back on the meds and will try to wean him off again as the medicine is not for long term usage. He has had a couple of really good coughing spells that have loosened the fluid in the lungs. This is great and will allow him to breath even better. We continue to work on lung capacity with respiratory therapy every four hours.
My daughter Elizabeth stops by often to lend her support and checks that I am getting rest and a break from the hospital. My cousin Mary flew in for the weekend to be with us. So for all those who are worried about me..... I am okay and have angels looking after me!
Paul is looking forward to a peace filled night with minimum interruptions so he can get some much needed sleep. We are praying that he continues to maintain a normal sinus rhythm and good oxygen numbers through the night and tomorrow.
Paul enjoyed all the Father Day wishes and thanks each one of you for all your prayers and good wishes.
Jo
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Post Surgery Day 4
Paul day was better.
His heart rate has stabilized.
His oxygen levels a good.
The chest drainage tube has been removed.
They removed the drain from his side which will make it easier for him to get comfortable.
He has also had a couple I.V's removed.
Paul is receiving some liquid nutrition in his J Tube.
He is still struggling to take deep breaths or cough, both are things that have to happen before he can leave ICU. If all goes weel through the night, he may be able to get up and try walking.
It has been a good day.
Thank you for the continued prayers and well wishes.
Jo
His heart rate has stabilized.
His oxygen levels a good.
The chest drainage tube has been removed.
They removed the drain from his side which will make it easier for him to get comfortable.
He has also had a couple I.V's removed.
Paul is receiving some liquid nutrition in his J Tube.
He is still struggling to take deep breaths or cough, both are things that have to happen before he can leave ICU. If all goes weel through the night, he may be able to get up and try walking.
It has been a good day.
Thank you for the continued prayers and well wishes.
Jo
Friday, June 14, 2013
Post Surgery Day 3
Update on Paul
His pain seems to be better controlled today and this evening.
Oxygen level is better, still having some problems with breathing. We are working are taking deep breathes.
Heart rate is high and docs are having a hard time getting it back to normal sinus rhythm. We continue to pray for an answer.
Antibiotic started as a precautionary measure. He was up in a chair all day. Goal is to prevent pneumonia from setting in the lungs.
Paul will probably be in ICU over the weekend. I spent last night with my daughter and grandson for a much needed good night's sleep. I managed a two hour nap this afternoon. My cousin came in for the weekend to give me a bit of relief from hospital duty. *grin
Thank you all for your prayers and posting comments. I have shared them all with Paul.
Jo
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Let go and let God
Years ago I remember reading a sign that said "Let go and let God. It isn't always easy, but it's worth it!"
Had a scare this morning. Paul's heart rate jumped to 212 with an irregular rhythm. They are monitoring him closely. It was hard to walk out the room when they were bringing the crash cart. I trust, I pray and that is all I can do. Praying for the heart rate to return to normal. It's been 2 hours and the heart rate continues to be over 140'
Later in life I learned to sign this poem and it has always been one of my favorites....
Let go and let God
As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend.
I brought my broken dreams to God, because He was my friend.
But then instead of leaving Himin peace to work alone.
I hung around and tried to help with ways that were my own.
At last I snatched them back and cried " How could you be so slow?"
"My child" He said "What could I do, you never did let go?"
I am letting go ... And trusting.
Jo
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Paul is doing well.
He has quite a few tubes going in and out of his body at the moment, but
we knew that would be the case and
expected it, so no surprise.
Paul had a rough
first night with pain management. Paul seems
to have a resistance to some opiate
based painkillers. The
Anesthesiologist came to check on him
and ordered a different painkiller to be added to his medicinal regime. It seem to help a little bit and we will
monitor this over the next few hours. The nurses are watching his blood
pressure. Paul’s blood pressure has
always been on the low side and the painkillers tend to make it go even
lower. Tonight seems better as he is currently sleeping.
Paul has three incisions: One on his right
side of the back coming down from the should blade area to the underside of his armpit area, the second is
approximately 6 inches from the left side of his neck down to the front of his
throat and the third is on the abdomen.
He has four drainage tubes. One
at the base of the incision on his back, a left and right one in his abdomen
and one from his chest. He also has the
usual Foley and NG tube. He also has a
thoracic Epidural tube going into his spine.
Needless to say, getting him to be comfortable is a chore.
He did sit up in the chair this morning and it brought
relief to the pain in his back but this increased the pain in his abdomen. Sitting up is good as it stretches his
lungs and allows him to breathe easier.
We are very watchful of his breathing since they had to collapse the
right lung for the surgery. He sat up this afternoon for over two hours and this really has helped with an overall feeling better.
We will know more next week as they should have the pathology reports back from the surrounding tissue and the lymph nodes that were removed. They will also do a test to see if the connections of the stomach pull up has any leakage.
There was a bit of leakage from his J Tube site and this has us both a bit concerned as there hasn't been any since it was placed in March. The nurses have been told to keep an eye on it and contact the doctors if they see it leaking more.
I am tired and going to try to get some sleep.
Thank you all for your prayers and positive energy.
Jo
If all goes well, on Monday they will have him swallow a
very small amount of liquid to check for leakage. If there is leakage, they will give the
inside connection more time to heal. If
there is no leakage, then they will start him on a liquid diet and increase it
to a soft diet. We should have all the
pathology reports back by Monday too!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Out of Recovery and in ICU
Paul is out of recovery and in ICU. He is resting. Too many tubes, I.V's and suctions.....
Tonight he will sleep and rest so the body can start healing. He has made it through the obstacle of surgery.
Thank you all for your prayers, positive energy, holding him up and everything else.
Hugs to all
Jo
Tonight he will sleep and rest so the body can start healing. He has made it through the obstacle of surgery.
Thank you all for your prayers, positive energy, holding him up and everything else.
Hugs to all
Jo
Out of surgery
Paul is out of surgery and in recovery. Surgeon said all went well.
More updates after he is ot of Recovery.
Thank you all for your prayers, positive energy and love.
Jo
More updates after he is ot of Recovery.
Thank you all for your prayers, positive energy and love.
Jo
Tuesday is here...
Paul is in surgery. Met with a team of eleven people this morning before surgery. Surgery will take approximately eight hours.
We pray and wait......
Jo
We pray and wait......
Jo
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Reality .....
What Cancer Cannot Do......
It cannot cripple Love.
It cannot shatter Hope.
It cannot corrode Faith.
It cannot eat away at Peace.
It cannot destroy Confidence.
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot shut out Memories
It cannot silence Courage.
It cannot quench the Spirit
Here I sit into the wee hours of morning. Listening to Paul's movements as he sleeps. Lately, I find myself laying awake just to listen to the sound of his breathing deep into the night. It is comforting to hear the soothing breath as his body relaxes and rests. Or to hold him close and feel his warmth and smell the scent that is his alone. But tonight too many thoughts fill my mind. Too many emotions overtake my senses. I know that worrying is useless. This is not worry but something else. I can't quite put my finger on it. It is almost an anticipation, an eagerness for the next few weeks to be over so that we can move forward and get this behind us. It seems like we have been waiting forever for the surgery date to arrive. Has it only been four months since Paul was diagnosed with this cancer? It seems like a lifetime ago. So many hurdles, so many set backs, so much time spent waiting for appointments, and testing, and follow-ups, with this doctor or that doctor. And now that the date is set, I am scared. I find myself frightened of all the "What if's" that have been suppressed, hidden, forbidden from taking form. I have managed to stay strong this far, to clean the wounds, to comfort him when he was at his sickest, to encourage him when he felt his own body betrayed him. Yet now... I am frightened of him actually going through with this surgery, but on the other hand, I am more frightened of him not having surgery and letting cancer win.
Maybe it's not worry at all, only the effects of too much late afternoon coffee!
Hugs,
Jo
Monday, June 3, 2013
Surgery Date is Set
The surgeon's office called today.
We have a surgery date set for Tuesday, June 11, 2013 ... at 7:30 am.
As I write this the butterflies in my stomach are doing a great job of filling me with anxiety. I know, it's silly, but it is what it is. I'm scared now that things are moving forward. It's funny how you become accustomed to change and then when it needs to change again, it brings up all the worries you had set aside. All the "what if's" play in your mind and are hard to push away.
We will be seeing the surgeon as previously scheduled on Thursday, June 6, 2013 and will discuss expectations and foreseeable outcomes. The usual questions: anticipated length of hospital stay, risks, complications and anything else that pops into our heads before Thursday.
We will be getting things together to take with us to the hospital since this will be a planned stay unlike our previous stay which was completely unexpected.
We enjoy the journey of life and look forward to continue making memories after this beast is extradited with Paul's esophagus.
 |
| Dinner date |
 |
| Caverns, Canyons and Rocks, Arizona |
 |
| Hawaii |
 |
| England |
 |
| Rain Forest hiking, Belize |
 |
| Having fun |
 |
| A Christmas kiss |
 |
| A Sultan and his harem girl |
 |
| On the way to Tortuga National Park, Key West, Florida |
 |
| Fishing with friends |
 |
| 3 D movie fun, South Carolina |
 |
| Wine tasting. Napa Valley, California |
 |
| Giant Redwoods, Muir Woods, CA |
 |
| "I do" "I do too!" -- 2010 |
 |
| Hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, California |
 |
| Paris, France |
 |
| Dinner celebration |
Thank you all for your ever supporting thoughts, cards, well wishes and prayers.
Hugs,
Jo and Paul
"It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time."
Winston Churchill
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