I am where I am suppose to be...

How can time pass so slowly yet seem to fly by?  Has it been one week?

The days and hours no longer are on the same wavelength of time that I am experiencing.  I can hear Paul's voice in my head, laughing as he says "There's been a disruption in the space/time continuum" Yes, we were both a bit geeky and loved watching Dr. Who, Star Trek, The Big Bang Theory and anything on the Discovery Channel.

Last year at this time, during the Perseid meteor showers, I climbed up on the roof of the RV, laid there counting "Shooting Stars".  Forty in an hour.  I was so excited because in all my years, my lifetime of star gazing, I had never see so many in such a short time period.  I came inside and said "You need to come out here, this is amazing"  Paul came out, sat in the chair next to me and gazed up at the sky.  "I don't get it" he said as he watch them streak across the horizon, "It's all just dust and grains of sand "   I still smile today as I think of how his scientific mind took this awesome event that most of us look at in awe and wonder and he could be so factual at it being just "dust".  So I watched the dust and remembered our life together.

Where do I go from here?  No, not in the physical sense.  Paul and I had long discussions about the "What if".  He made it clear... no major moves, no major decisions, no drastic changes for 6 months.  Things need to continue as planned.  The house will be completed, I will move in.  I will continue on with the plans we had made for the next 6 months.  But I will do it alone. I will do it without him physically standing at my side and holding my hand.  I guess my question is more for myself as I know there is no one who can give me the answer.  Where do I go from here?  How do I walk this new road that is laid out before me?  Where do I find the courage to face the future without the man who completed me?  And he did complete me.  Paul made me whole.  He was my life, my soul-mate, my love, my beloved, my M'Lord. I will carry him in my heart until my last breathe.

Several of you, who read this blog, have asked me to continue writing.  I have always loved sharing our life and adventures on this blog.  This blog was created to the testament of my mothers life.  She loved to travel. Loved experiencing all that life had to offer.  She often said "From the minute you are born, you start dying, so LIVE life"  That is what Paul and I set out to do after her death in 2010.  We took to heart her wisdom and advice "Climb the mountains, walk the beaches, hike the forest".   Paul and I sold all our worldly possessions, bought the RV and set out to travel.  We have always somehow ended up being exactly where we needed to be.  Near family to enjoy grandchildren, visits with family, close enough to experience the birth of the latest grandson, touching lives.... sharing stories.... laughter..... and love. I will continue the blog with updates of my life, my thoughts, my travels, my journey of this life.

For now, I know,  I am where I am suppose to be.

So I leave you with this quote.......

You Are Where You Are Supposed to Be 

"God puts you where God needs you. 
You are where you are supposed to be. 
The job you are doing may not be any easier on account of this, indeed it may be harder, even more urgent, but now you are centered, focused, clear." 
So this is where I'm suppose to be.
I always thought I was suppose to be somewhere else, doing something else, being someone else.
But I realize now that I was mistaken.
This does not mean that I can't or will not be doing something else.
Just right now, I am where God wants me to be.
Lawrence Kushner