Saturday, November 2^nd was Paul’s Memorial.  It was well attended by family and friends, or so I’ve been told.  I don’t remember much of it.  I feel that my brain has decided some things are best remembered in very small doses.  There was a wonderful sharing of memories by several family members and friends, even an email read from a nephew in New Zealand.   It touched my heart to hear that Paul’s journey in this life touched so many others in a very special way and that he shared so much life with others.

 They say a picture can say a thousand words.  A few pictures that I shared at Paul's memorial.  

The pictures will never show, the man I came to know.

I have been trying to convert the PowerPoint presentation that I made, into a video, but for the life of me, I can not figure out how Paul did it!  I have the program on his computer, but after four tries, it still is not turning out correct.  I guess I should have sat and watched how he did it in the past. He always did the conversions for me.  It is just one more thing that reminds me of the loss I suffer with him gone.  His absence overshadows various parts of my life and will do so for a long time.

In my heart, I believe that Paul will always have his loving arms wrapped around me.  He will always be my love, my knight in shining armor, my M'Lord.  I know there is no single "should have done" or "could have done" or "did" or "didn't do" that would have changed a thing.  I also know that if love could have saved Paul, he would still be here at my side.

Many have approached me or sent emails asking that I continue writing this blog.   I will attempt to write something….  thoughts, feelings, observations, in the coming weeks.   Not sure how it will turn out, but I’ll give it a try.

 The family who came to share their support, love and precious thoughts have all gone back to their own lives.  Walking their own paths, as they should be.  Their presence was the greatest gift they could have given me.  

Today, I start back to work.  I begin to walk a path of near normalcy. *smile

I do not know what the future holds, none of us do.  We make our plans and never really give much thought to the “What if’s” in life.  

To everyone who shares my journey.  May you always hold love in your heart, peace in your mind and know that you are a very important part of my journey.

Love and those all important hugs,

Jo